A Fresh Start

January 9, 2016

The beginning of a New Year comes with bountiful possibilities and to many, excitement for the new and relief at releasing the old.

My New Year came with some turmoil and much reflection on the meaning of things that pass away from us, most often too quickly.

I was in the deepest of moods the last day of the year and could only think, feel, and write down my thoughts.

I offer it to you in sharing the inner workings of my heart, at times buoyant and at times not.

 

“A Fresh Start”

Entering 2016 did not come easy

Held on to the past year tightly —

A bitter sweet embrace.

 

Lost in melancholy songs

Allowing feelings of loss, disappointment, and

yearning to work their devilish way

through my muscles, aching with

their toxins.

 

I asked, “Why the tight hold on me?”

“Why the tight hold on you?”

 

I let you race past me without giving you

my full attention,

So consumed with actions and reactions,

Losing sight of you.

 

Absence was what I mourned the last day of 2015.

Lost in emotions carrying me far from center,

unaware of time escaping through countless careless moments.

 

Notes of music, Mauna Loa morning chill,

long drive to town,

day filled with commitments to work,

feeding the sadness.

 

My heart held on to 2015 in a vice-grip,

captive, all day, knowing that

it was cruel to do so.

 

“Set me free,” it pleaded,

“Set us free,” I understood.

 

By the end of the day,

as I drove along the winding South Kona road,

I knew a truce had occurred.

 

I arrived home, opened the car door,

focused on my purse perched on the passenger seat,

and just like that…

 

2015 wiggled itself free, Houdini-like, through

the partially opened car door,

escaping from my sight.

 

I searched for it once more and

saw that it had been scooped up

by the towering ‘Ohi’a trees.

These ancients quietly doing their duty,

absorbing the toxic,

and in return,

gifting us with an

unsullied world in which to give

2016 a fresh start.