Dreaming of Clouds
TO SAY I’VE BEEN DREAMING OF CLOUDS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. I’ve not only been dreaming of clouds, I’ve been flying through clouds, above and beyond the clouds and most certainly revisiting clouds in my dreams for the last few months. I was facing challenges as a dearest loved one, my ninety-five year old mom, became gravely ill. We were very lucky. It wasn’t her time to go.
Through her illness, I faced a challenge in doing what was right and doing all that I could to make sure she survived, all the while making sure to follow her directives. Our lives were tossed up in an air of uncertainty: my mom’s, my husband’s, my sibling’s, my friend’s who also love my mom, my dog who is her daily companion, and of course me. My world was inside out. I was desperate to be with my mom as much as possible. I didn’t want her to be alone or to be afraid of the unknown. From that experience came an even deeper bond between the two of us. We have both flown together through the heavy darkness of a midnight sky, a bit frightened perhaps, but NEVER alone. We emerged through the lofty white clouds that carried us back home safely.
To my mother and all those who have cared for their aging parents or other loved ones through a terrible illness or accident, my heart goes out to you. We have all cried together in one way or another. What I know now is that we can only hope to do the best that we can at any given moment. And our best is all that anyone can ever expect from us. Our parents, in particular, know how much we struggle with the reversal of roles in our lives and they are abundantly patient and loving with us.
This is just my way of sharing with the world my great respect, love, awe, friendship, admiration and devotion to a great woman who has risen over many obstacles to face her life with relentless courage, grace, and patience. What a life lesson I have had these last few years and will continue to have until the very last moment.